Aiden, from a really young age would rather cut off his nose despite his face! No amount of coaxing, encouragement or bribery, would make him change his mind, he would rather miss out all together. Most people just think he’s stubborn, which says to me, they believe he’s choosing to be defiant, and it’s this attitude on autism that I would like more people to understand.
Aiden is not choosing to be stubborn, this is a part of his autism, let me explain…
In everything Aiden does, it has to be, ‘all or nothing’. As a child, Aiden would paint a picture ensuring the whole page was completely covered, no plain paper would ever be seen. Easel’s would drive him in sane because the pegs holding up the paper would prevent him from filling the page. If he did gluing, he would be sure to use every ounce of glue in the pot. If he had food or drink he would insist on the bowl or cup being filled right to the very top. And, if you tried to give a broken biscuit, well, anyone would think you were trying to murder him!
He also couldn’t bare it if he got one tiny fleck of dirt on his clothes, he would strip, there and then. However, he if he was completely dirty, like covering himself in paint or rolling in a puddle, well that was ok!
When in the bath, he would use his hand as a measure for shampoo, ensuring his whole hand was completely covered and as for toilet roll, well, that was measured by the length of his arm x4 because he has 4 limbs? If you understand that, please explain it to me!
We have made some small progress in life. Now 18, Aiden will tolerate a broken biscuit, although he would rather eat the whole packet, given half a chance!
And not surprisingly, he still has this innate ‘All or Nothing’ mindset.
Pizza is a big one! They are NOT for sharing! If anyone try’s to take a slice of Aiden’s pizza, he will just give it all to them and he will go without!
Frustratingly, he still changes his clothes if they have a tiny crum on them but thankfully he’ll wait until he gets home before he strips! We do have to pretend we’ve washed many of his clothes when we haven’t or my laundry would be impossible to keep on top of!
And he still insists on the cup or the bowl being completely full – We just comprised by using smaller cups and bowls.
Shampoo I now dispense into a smaller bottle- no brands in this house!
But toilet roll, well that’s still an issue!
Obsessive traits are a neurological disfunction and rigidity of thinking is an inability to change.
These two traits are a part autism and, therefore, something that cannot suddenly be fixed.
However, finding the route cause will enable people to support and find ways to workaround these triggers.
And remember folks, stubbornness is a term used when people refuse change their attitude.
So, I think we know who the stubborn ones really are!