One piece of advice I would love to share with others is, make sure you capture the memories. Sounds simple, we all take photos, but it’s more than that. Take photos, take videos but more importantly, write things down. We live in a world of digital technology, however, we often don’t use this to the best of our ability. With baby number one, I was obsessed with taking photos. Fast forward to baby number 3 and the novelty had worn off. By the time baby number 4 came along – well, who’s that? (Sorry Jazz, I did capture the toilet picture though!) Also, be mindful of what photos you take. Aiden was a grumpy baby and I was so desperate to capture him when he was smiling that if you were to look through his photo album now, you would have thought he was the happiest baby alive. This is lovely to see and of course they are memories I will always treasure but, it doesn’t truly reflect his journey. There are also those special times when little ones say very funny things or pronounce words or phrases in such an endearing way. In that moment you think you will remember them forever and for a few weeks you do, but after a few years have gone by and more children come along our memories get confused and even fade. I can’t remember what I did yesterday net a lone what Aiden said 18 years a go. I really wish I had written more down. We have our phones glued to our hands now days – put a folder on your phone for each child and just capture those memories because you WILL forget.
Aiden still says phrases now that make me smile – while watching the tv he’ll say, “can you fast forward that back?”
“Do you mean rewind Aiden?”
To which he replies – “yes, fast forward it back.”
He’s said it so often that this phrase has become normalised in our house , the other kids say it and I even find myself saying it sometimes!
One day that sticks in my mind, we were in the car, and Aiden was having a bad day. As usual we were treading on egg shells around him. He seemed to have calmed a little and asked me to turn the radiator up. I thought it was odd as it was a bright summers day, but I went with it, anything to keep the peace and the mood he was in I wasn’t taking any chances. A few minutes later but in a much louder and more aggressive tone Aiden blurts out “I said, can you turn the radiator up?” So as instructed, I wack it up to full blast. By this time I was beginning to sweat and I had to open the window through fear of passing out. Then without warning, he loses it completely, full meltdown head banging, shouting at the top of his voice, screaming, crying, and yelling on repeat “turn it up, turn it up! Seriously, I can’t win, I tried to reassure him that I had done as requested but it was’t enough! Not knowing what else to do and needing to stay alive whilst driving, I turned the radiator (or heater as we know it) off! His screams were ear piercing so turned the radio up full blast to drown out the noise and with that he miraculously stopped! I glanced round and he was happily dancing along to the music! (His mood can switch within seconds) We arrive peacefully at our destination and all was silent.
Aiden says “Mummy are you deaf?”
“Because I asked to you nicely to the radiator up but you didn’t and when I shouted to you, you did it and you turned it up really loud!”
Finally the penny dropped!
“Aiden, do you mean the radio?”
“yes, the radiator!”
If only I could see inside Aiden’s head I would have been able to save so much heart ache.
I remember that one because it caused him so much distress. Generally we remember the bad memories but there are so many funny moments and happy times that I’ve forgotten.
Capture the memories, the good, the bad and the ugly – because nothing lasts forever.